Monday, May 15, 2006

I Don't See Why........

*sigh*

crappy feeling i'm having since this afternoon.... why? well.... my church is already 'recruiting' people to play for the christmas service in december... its gonna be a big event... and since i came to this church 6 years ago, i've always wanted to play for the church on a regular basis... unfortunately i have to attend syo every saturday, and since last year, on thursdays too, which makes me totally unavailable for the music ministry rehearsals and sometimes even service too... and it has been worse for the past few weeks.. havent gone to service due to rehearsals... well, apparently the auditions for the christmas thingy is over, but i'm sure they can make some arrangements right? i seriously doubt that the church is that inflexible... well, so i asked mei hwa, my unit leader, whether there was anything she could do to help me ask about it... but she said, honestly, the main problem was because i'm not consistent in my service attendance, so i cant play, even if she could ask about getting me in later... i mean, its not as if i want it this way right? its not as if i dont want ot attend service right? its because i cant, not because i dont want! theres a big difference between those 2..... fine, i'm sure they have reasons for doing this, that people do not perform out of glory and self-honour, and they should be doing this for God and God alone.... but you cant judge a person's spirituality and motives by their service attendance right? i mean, what if a person got persecuted but his parents, but wants to serve in a special event, cant he serve too? or he cant because he havent come to service for a long time? its not as if i havent played in church before... i did it a few times, and i wanna do it again! ARGH!!!
well, fine... i'll accept it.... just... not so happy about it... i'm quitting syo after july anyway... will they accept me after that? probably.... at least let me give it a shot ok?

had to get that off my back before i go mad in my bed.... well, nothing much happened since i went ice-skating.... and crap... received the news that i have to re-assess my harmony... paper on the 1st of june... i'm hopeless in it.. and to master it in 2 weeks? i dont think so..... will try, but doubt so... and i have to write a 1000-word essay for my sas.... fine... if they want an essay, they shall get one.... lets see how they react to anti-modernism....

oh... and wei kang arh....

CELLO RULES!!! whether you like it or not...

*bleah*

enjoy$%#&$&##

1 comment:

gelok said...

hey, so have you been doing church on sundays then? That's pretty rough.